What is Matrescence? Part 3: Identity

Of all of the parts of matrescence, this may be the most obvious, but least explored. Let's do a quick recap. Matrescence is the period of transition that a birthing person experiences. In part one, I described the changes that occur in a mother's brain, essentially "making room" for baby. (Yes, of course, that's not the only place in a woman's body where room is made!) In part two, I focused on hormonal changes, where the changes are likened to adolescence. So, it makes sense that with all this bodily change, comes psychological change.

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During matrescence, just like in adolescence, a person begins to see and think about themselves in different ways. And not just themselves, of course, but how they relate to and with others. Adolescence is a time of first romances, being with someone in a completely new way. So, too, does matrescence offer a new way of being with. A mother must begin to think about someone else, her baby, and a new relationship emerges. As always, adding a new relationship causes ripples to all the other relationships as well.

In her qualitative research, Lucy Bailey identified six recurring themes of motherhood, among which were ideas of mothering, all the way to concepts of time and space. (Remember when leaving the house didn't require hours of planning?!) She writes,

"these six dimensions…did not amount to the development of a new self, or to a fragmentation into multiple selves, but they seemed to compose the different elements of the refracted self. They were the previously hidden spectrum of the rainbow of which the women were now made aware” (Bailey,1999, p. 346).

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Giving birth not only births a baby, but also births a mother.

If there's one takeaway from this part of matrescence, it is to give grace to oneself and to anyone who is in this season. Whether this was a hard fought battle, an unexpected journey, a time-worn path, or a blessing in disguise, it is a change and it is to be honored and seen.

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